Eulogy

Charlie Adair  (1942-2000)

Delivered March 21, 2000

 

There are no words to describe our loss.  Some of you I can only acknowledge, having no way to know how your loss touches you.

--Charlie's daughter and sons, his grandchildren and his family.

--his students, both past and present.

--his journalistic colleagues in Buffalo, in Western NY and across the country.

--his colleagues at Buffalo State.

--his friends.

--and Cathy.                                          

 

Today we can reach into our experiences and memories and draw a picture of the life we come here to honor--a life that touched us in ways that compel us so, that we are drawn to be here to remember.  We have come together to seek comfort in each other’s company, and to take some measure of what Charlie's life has meant to each of us.

 

If our roles were reversed, Charlie would've stood here and said, "Damn it, Ron, this is the dumbest trick you've ever pulled."  Charlie could be short on patience and high on indignation.  The writer Camus described Charlie well when he told his version of the Myth of Sisyphus.  Sisyphus, so the story goes, was condemned to spend eternity rolling a rock up a hill.  When he got to the top of the hill, he always lost control of the rock and watched it roll down the hill.  Then he walked down the hill to roll it up again.  And again.  Camus said, "Isn't this what life is like?"  Camus' insight was that Sisyphus retains his sanity and brings meaning to his life by cursing the cretins and jerks who put him there.  We all understand that Charlie found a lot of meaning that way too.

 

When Charlie came into a room he filled it with his presence.  But truly he didn't come into a room so much as he charged into a room.  Wherever he showed up, he was full of excitement, full of opinions, full of indignation and ideas. 

 

For people who didn't know him, this appearance was frightening.  If Charlie had arrived because he had lost patience with someone, this appearance could be terrifying.  But that was because they didn't know him, didn't know how gentle he was. 

 

When all of Charlie came into the room, he took up a lot of space; and when he made noise, he made a lot of noise. 

 

Charlie made noise a lot because he was excited so much.  Somehow he had missed the fashion of being laid back and cool as an indication of sophistication. 

 

He read books constantly and had newspapers at hand always.  He had that great mind that never fills up and never forgets--a "garbage can mind," we came to call it.  And that mind was always busy and always excited about new things learned and realized, new connections made.  When you went into his office--or when he came into yours because he couldn't wait for you to come into his--you heard all about his latest excitement.

 

One special thing a college can do for its students is to show them a place unlike any they have experienced before or may after, a place where ideas are taken seriously; a place where ideas have consequences, where opinions are valued only when they're defensible.  A place where ideas are alive.  No one could model this better than Charlie.  No student could doubt that Charlie carved his world out of his intelligence. 

 

When talking to Charlie, especially when arguing with Charlie, there were two phrases you heard over and over:   

the first--"There's something you don't understand"

and the second--"Get over it."

 

The two parts go together.  For the first, Charlie was willing to educate you to see what he saw, sometimes against your will.  And the second completed it:  If you have the courage of your convictions, you'll follow with action and dedication what you know to be right.  The second is harder than the first.  Charlie also modeled for all of us, not just his students, the guts to go his own way when he believed he was right.

 

Some people thought he was stubborn.  He was.  But if you asked him why he was so stubborn, you were told, "There's something you don't understand..."

 

Charlie's love of language and his talent made him a fine writer and editor.  There's something special about being in the presence of talent--you know it unambiguously.  For example, I'd work on a piece until it felt articulate, clean and tight and I'd give it to Charlie; and then he showed me things I never could've seen by myself.  If you’ve never seen a good editor working, there's this nifty image of the editor floating above the page, taking it all in as one piece, and then swooping down to clean, to clarify, to unify, to harmonize.

 

But, more than anything else, he was a reporter.  And it was that ken that made him such a great teacher of students generally, of journalists especially.  To be honest, academics can get very prissy about their research and they have lots of time, typically, to check out every detail and lovingly caress every word.

 

Reporters, Charlie reminded everyone, have deadlines.  He taught his students the tools to get the information they needed, and then forced them to write to a deadline.  Students often resented the pressure. Charlie came back at them: “I'm your editor and that's your deadline.  You have a problem?  Get over it.”

 

His final exams were legendary.  One interviewing class was merely given phone numbers to call for interviews.  The students discovered people who were blind, who had AIDS, who were in great distress--all assembled by Charlie for the exercise.

 

The student evaluations of his classes comprised enormous variety.  Charlie loved to quote the very nastiest of them.  And then there were other evaluations--evaluations that came from former students writing back as they practiced their professions.  These letters began with the same profanities as the former and then thanked and praised him for all he done for them; they noted especially the abuse he had subjected them to--They said, "You weren't mean enough, the real world is a cruel place."  These letters brought the biggest smiles, and obviously the most satisfaction.

 

Did I mention his smile?  I have been assured by any number of women that it was the sexiest smile on the planet.  In these politically correct times, it is not proper to say so, but Charlie Adair was one of the last, great, unrepentant, unapologetic heterosexuals.  By this I mean merely that he preferred the company of women to that of men--preferred it in so many ways.  And I do not mean that he was a sexist or a "ladies’ man," whatever that unfortunate image may invoke. 

 

In all the years I've known him, in all the hours we've talked, I have never heard him make any stereotypical reference at all.  About anyone.  I found him totally without prejudice of any kind--except for his intolerance of intentional stupidity or an unwillingness to work as hard as he did.

 

In his life, Charlie accomplished a lot.  He touched many lives--ours among them--and many are better for having known him.  There's a rule that says if you have talent and dedicate that talent with hard work, good things will come.  They did.  Charlie was a respected journalist and then a respected teacher.


 

He was a good friend, kind and generous and giving.  In the years I knew him we shared endless confidences and confessions. I respect him enormously. 

 

Some thought Charlie was merely stubborn and needed to be right all the time.  He didn't need to be right, although he didn't mind being right.  All he needed was the confidence that he had done his job well.  All he asked of others was that they have this same respect for themselves.

 

Charlie Adair came right at you and didn't blink.  He came with the confidence of someone who knew why they believed what they believed, of someone who freely challenged everyone to know as much and as well.  He intimidated many; he angered a few. 

 

The shock of his passing is that he was so alive, so full of the obvious enjoyment of life.  That he should have died young is a particular insult of fate.  There is a certain justice that he died suddenly, not diminished by age or disease--that virtually every moment of his life was vibrant and full.

 

And now that he's gone there is a large empty place that he used to fill in our lives.  And we miss him.