Some Strategies & Techniques to Enhance Family Relationships

 

Focus on change and opt for the future

            If a family is arguing, or complaining, ask each person what s/he is willing to do to prevent a recurrence of the argument.  Turn complaints into information about what changes in others might help. Start sessions by asking what successes the clients had in working toward their goals or in communicating or getting along. This is akin to “focusing on the exceptional times” and is a Solution Focused Technique.

 

Positive Feedback

            Help members notice how often family members give and get feedback, positive and negative. How do members in this family know they’re appreciated? Who tells you they like what you’ve done and who you are? How often do you give feedback to others in the family?

            Let clients know that everyone needs positive feedback to feel accepted and valued.

            Cultivate Positive Sets by asking clients to notice one another’s strengths, attributes, positive actions. You can use a continegency contract which asks members to pay attention to positives and bring them in to talk about each week until members spontaneously do it.

            Review progress and accredit incremental growth. Have members keep

 a daily tally of the number of positive messages they send their partners or children in a week.

            Negotiate with couples for each to do something nice that his/her partner requests.

            Guess Who in combination with listing the strengths of the person sitting to your right.

 

To Modify Dysfunctional Interaction use

            Metacommunication. Let’s stop for a moment and consider what’s happening (here and now or relationship immediacy).

            Focus on the process rather than the content. There’s no way to resolve this difference of memory. What purpose does this impass/argument serve? Give feedback that is descriptive and neutral rather than general and evaluative.

 

Balance Interventions to divide responsibility and to distribute time and focus fairly.

 

Help Clients to Disengage from Conflict

 

Modify Relationships that Are No Longing Working such as rules about who does what, and who’s in charge of what domain.

 

Use Behavioral Contracts and Contingency Agreements to bring about Reciprocal Change

 

Teach Clients to Use I Messages to Make Requests. Requests are negotiable.

 

Declare a Moratorium on past hurts. You can prepare a Past Hurst list; rate each item; and agree to give up certain items in exchange for items on someone else’s list.

 

Modify Distorted Perceptions and Dysfunctional Allignments

Strengthen Parental Coalitions and Mark Generational Boundaries